Is Being Attractive The Main Deciding Factor?

Do you think being beautiful or sexy - just by itself - is a surefire way to guy's heart? How many "beautiful" or "sexy" girls do you think are really loved by their man?

The Fact: These attributes may matter for a fling but in a soulmate, a man looks for something else.

The Sexy girls are often "torpid" in bed: That very often is an open-secret among men (unless, of course, they visit one of the "Gentleman's clubs" where being sexy or beautiful alone doesn't work!). The beautiful girl expects the man to do all the work! That may go well with him at first but in a true mate he looks for a two-way exchange. And that's where good old Mary wins. She touches, she plays and the man sways! Men love that and more so when they are just looking for a perfect wife.

The beautiful girl expects royal treatment: Why not? She is cute, attractive and with choices - apparently. Good old Mary looks for a soul-to-soul connection and a deeper bonding. That's what the men really want deep inside - care, love and involvement.

Good old Mary believes in true love and the Bombshell triggers the "survival of the fittest": So is Mary a loser? Men often look at beauty as a mystery - it ceases to exist when unfolded. So the sexy girl does pretty well till the aura of beauty and her mystery remain.

Good old Mary wants to have a happy family and beautiful girl, a happy face: It's beauty that is her survival mode but men are just grown up boys. At the end of the day, they look out for nurturing love. And good old Mary is always a shoulder to cry on when things are not just right. She gets her man since she knows what he really looks for in mate.

This is what I feel and have heard time and over again from other guys who I have talked to. You all are free to give your point of view which might lead me to write another post about this.

Are Sex-Scenes Mandatory In Movies?

People say the humidity pushed me over the edge. Things here to the east are different, a little crazier, a little more corrupt, a little closer to coming undone, because of the constant choking humidity. That sweltering heat. Indoors, you shiver in Antarctic air conditioning, the machines perched on your windowsills spitting out ice cubes and penguins, but you steam in your own juices like a lobster in a microwave the instant you walk outside. Everybody from the East is naturally a few steps closer to a psychotic meltdown than, say, their Southern countrymen. After years of having all the oxygen sucked out of your brain every time you step out your front door, something bad happens between your ears.

All the above factors conspired to make me write about a discussion I had with a friend of mine recently about why film-makers feel the need to have sex-scenes that didn't belong and were gratuitous. It got me thinking about which sort of scenes do belong and are necessary for the narration of the movie and what makes them necessary.

Here's my point of view:

I personally think that there is only one time that a film-maker can get away with sex for sex's sake and that's when the characters do it for the first time. Then, I feel you have the freedom to make scene(s) as long and as involved as the film-maker likes. After that the sex-scenes should have a purpose other than to show that the characters are just having fun again.

There are movies can be exempted from this like "9 Songs" which primarily is a film which shows the decline of interest in a couple over time related to physical intimacy if there is no emotional feeling(read love) involved. If that's the theme of a particular film then definitely the film-maker has the justification for multiple sex scenes. Directors like Catherine Breillat, Pedro Almodovar, Jean-Luc Godard, etc. have had multiple sex-scenes in their movies but no one calls them obscene and they are all award winning and critically acclaimed directors.

Then there are those compulsory "turning point" sex-scenes, where a character realizes as they are having sex, "Oh, this person isn't just another one-time-sex partner". This can happen in two different scenes in the movie or the same one but it depends on the characters and whether or not one of them is farther along the emotional journey than the other. It also depends on the producer and the quality of sex-scenes that they prefer.

One can also make an epilogue-type sex scene that shows the characters engaging in sex in which the film-maker can make a great-to-do about how even better the sex is now that they are married or engaged or bonded or whatever.

I can't think of any more reasons but if you, i.e. the readers can think of any then please mention in the comments.

Links to:

10 Movies Remembered Primarily for a Sex Scene

10 Movies That Sold due a Sex Scene

27 Years Of Walking On Earth.

Probably you know that I’ve been walking around this earth for roughly 27 years now and have come to learn a bit about this world. I never claim to know everything & I don’t really like it when people assume they do. Even if one knows a lot, one still has a lot to learn, even about the things one “knows". I’m not certain where this is going to lead but I just wanted to list a few things that I understood recently:

I love having a conversation about old shows on Doordarshan we used to watch as kids.

No one is more vulnerable than when they are defecating in a public bathroom that has no latch.

The more devoid of colour a beverage is, the more likelihood of it being very alcoholic.

A small dog frightens one way more than a big dog will.

Voting makes one feel really good right after one does it and makes one feel very small once the results are in.

I am no longer self-conscious when I’m by myself in public and smile because something very funny or inappropriate just popped into my head.

The untidyness in my surrounding life parallels the clutter in my mind.

I find that making out can vary from casual to intimate; the only difference is one's intention.

All-in-all I’ve made several goals for myself this month. They include reducing at least 5 kgs of body fat, buying a vaio laptop, getting a titanium credit card, visiting as many cities as I can before terrorists destroy them, and learning to find more and more time to write. A lot of these goals are very simple, which is great. These aren’t all officially on the Before 28 list, but I’ve become a product of list making and I can see the benefits in making them. I got a message from someone that said that I write like a programmer. To illustrate the differences I will write the entire next paragraph in actionscript code:

//start
var Sourav:Workaholic = new Workaholic();
Sourav.workEthic = 100;
for(var i:Number=0;<7;i++){
Sourav.workEthic -= 10;
}
if(Sourav.workEthic < 50) {
Sourav.emotionalState = “lazy”;
getMotivated();
} else if(Sourav.workEthic > 100) {
Sourav.emotionalState = “over-worked”;
relax();
} else {
Sourav.emotionalState = “balanced”;
}
function getMotivated(){
getURL(”http://www.google.com”,”_blank”);
//type in inspiring words
}
function relax(){
sleep();
}
//end

Here's my present situation. As you may or may not know I’m constantly in touch with my friends through phone, sms or through the internet but the city I am in right now has no one who I can actually call a friend. Now I rarely mind this state of being; I think being alone is what I need right now because it helps me re-group and re-organize life's goals. That being said, I sometimes do get a bit lonely, and how could you not? Now I don’t actively go out trying to find someone to hang out with; I always find that doing that can actually make one start disbelieving that one can have real good friends and not "Fair-weather" ones. Instead I'm better off relying on my current social network to assist in finding new friends who can just be interactive without being judging and bitching behind my back. I find that making the most of life is fairly easy to do when you don’t have very many expectations. Think of it this way: If you expect something to go great and it doesn’t, then you feel bad. If you expect something to go bad and it goes bad, then you feel bad. If you don’t expect something and it goes bad, then it’s ok cause you didn’t really expect it to be good. If you don’t expect something and it goes great, then it’s always better because you didn’t expect anything and ended up with awesomeness. I feel like I’ve professed this to many people but I really do think that this thought process is the key to keeping one smiling. Expectations come from prejudice of a situation. And while a healthy dose of prejudice is fine… too much can restrict you. I’m a big proponent of limitlessness; I’m aware (and so is my spell check) that it’s not a real word but so what. You at least ended up on this page.

That all being said, I’ve made a new awesome friend Fritz, he's 22 and he writes fiction which I do too and hence, I get to discuss things that run through my head with him. I’ve been meaning to do that for a while now; yes both make a new friend and have a meaningful conversation with a person who can listen and give another point of view to my weird thoughts. As he has come to India for the first time (He's from NYC, U.S.A) and intends to stay for 10 long months, I can surely look forward to some exchange of thoughts and talk about cultural differences and some debates about stuff on which our views differ. All of the most talented people are now my friends so that’s very good! It’s great to keep talent around to inspire you and kick your butt a bit to push the boundaries and make one strive to do better.

By the way, I wanted to touch on traveling. I had a great time in Gangtok and Mandarmani but I haven't been travelling much for the past 1 year. I like that in all of those places I was able to seek peace and quiet whether it be the snow-capped mountains surrounding Tsongo Lake in Gangtok or the vast expanse of clear blue sea at Mandarmani. I feel like this whole month as well has been about reconnecting long lost bonds. Just the other day I talked to my school friend Parijat after 8 long years but it never felt any different than it was 8 years ago when we met everyday in college. It’s true what people say about friends: Even if you aren’t in constant contact with them, true friends can pick-up and continue on right from where they left off. I’m thankful for this. Only a few more weeks left till I can apply for leaves from my new-job. That’s going to be a great holiday.

Why?

Why is it so hard for you to understand,
I don't want to be with you anymore,
You gave me only your hand,
You didn't give yourself and I demand war,

You betrayed me and I am falling apart,
You said you loved me but you hated me,
You weren't any longer my guard,
Being my enemy is what you wanted to be,

While I was crying the pain hurt everytime like hell,
It didn't stop, it was your way of loving someone,
How come you don't know, tears are what you sell,
Don't you understand the damage you have done,

I still love you, I don't know why,
First I was afraid to stand up and tell you how I felt,
Now I am afraid, I don't know anymore if I'm still standing high,
I shiver when I think about how you yelled,

But I still long for your touch,
And as I'm imagining,
I still love you very much,
From your love I could sing,

I think it's wrong,
Desiring a woman who always wounded my soul,
But I've been with you for so long,
I don't want to speak, everyday you desperate call,

I don't understand why, you first desert me,
And then you only want to be with me, it's the,
Question why, I am so depressive and still love you,
It doesn't make sense, Oh why, why, why, why do I still want you?

Why, why, why, why, why, I keep thinking,
I realize, in your love I'm sinking.

Not my work. One word modification from a poem written by Charley.

I'm not a NERD

My hands are always moving and my fingers never still.
The monitor is my ink. The keyboard is my quill.
My guitar is in my speakers and a disk holds all my drums.
The key to my eraser is now beneath my thumbs.

My paintbrush is my mouse and the bristles are the cords.
My programs built my house. The tool bar hung the door.
The Internet's my city, state, and country. It's my globe.
Google is a map when I cannot find my Home.

I fall asleep at some sites and wake up in others lost.
I'm addicted to blogging and I don't care what it costs.
Every Sunday I get up and go to church at AMD.
It takes confessions while pretending not to sleep.

I keep up with correspondents at night before bed.
"Yahoo!" "You've got mail!" Or whatever it may have said.
I log off and go to sleep. I dream only in words.
I may not be cool to you, but in MY world I'm not a nerd!

Strength

A mind so strong
Cannot be owned
This life I live
Is mine alone
As it has been
And still will be
Until the time
That death ends me
I am myself
And on my own
To deal with hell
My strength has grown
The stress forged will
I wield has shown
No link as weak
Or piece as lone
Within these walls
Of mental shields
I live at peace
As torment yields.

Living In Fear

Time resumes to the taste of glass
As slivered dust fades away
Realization hits as an aftershock
Death has never been closer
Twisted forms of flesh and steel
Lie still now, rid of motion
Reeling from the forces involved
That bend both metal and the mind
Through a skewed door
I see the fast lane frozen
From my place in the middle
Standing, stopped as i was
Such an eerie pause surrounding
This vein of travel clotted
Calmly invades me
As wounds bleed in my eyes
These tears of red are shed for scars
That touch the bone and leave my sight
A grateful fortune for I'm thankful
Marred my face with marks so painful

P.S. --- Tribute to the people who are still braving it out there even after losing their near and dear ones. I lost three friends in the blasts. Swapan, Neog, and Nirmala, you would always be remembered.