Confusion

My brain is slowing down and I feel I'm in a rut
The lights are growing dim, the doors and windows shut
I feel the emptiness inside, the lack of life within
I wish it would all stop or maybe I wish it would begin
This fog has got me guessing, a travesty of mind
Like spinning in a circle, the exit I can't find
What the hell is going on, is my brain a dud?
The feelings in my heart and head have fallen with a thud!
I'm so sick and tired of this, I want to feel alive
But all I have seems dry and old, not likely to survive
This poem is just an outlet for all my loss and greif
Of what I'm note sure of, where is the belief?
Day after day, week after week, month after months and years
It seems to me to never end, like the ebb and flow of tears.
A string full of knots, a screen full of holes
Can't come to a conclusion.
Numbing like the bitter cold, frozen with confusion.