Love & Freedom

We lust for freedom,
But long to be captured;
Kill for power,
But live for pleasure;
And die for love.

Where are you when so much time to myself makes me reckless and restless. When the words won't quit and my fingers are tired and I'm wishing that I could pause for a moment and have something else to appease my passions. Where is everyone? Where have they ever been? No place that I know of and not the darknesss that I've been in.
Lately time moves so quickly and I don't understand it because under the circumstances I would expect it to move slowly. But I guess I am different. Always have been. It's times of happiness that every hour feels like years. That space between one weekend and the next infinite when there's someone that you miss but when sadness unfold its musty blanket time speeds up. Months expire in minutes and I go back and read the days trying to remember what was. Even still, even with the triggers it seems all a dream that I've been sleeping since.

Nothing seems real. Not one single solitary breath. All the months seemed to expire in only minutes. I don't feel like I've been alive at all. Not since.

Such unusual ideas caught in dead eyes.
Hope bereft.
Faith unkind.
Polaroid friends.
Instant photographs lacking dimension.
Born so bloody.
So small, so weak.
Incubated infancy.
I survived.
But then i never really did.
Just kept on breathing without any reason.
And then they all question why.
Why such unsual eyes caught in dead eyes.
They push me like piano keys.
Wanting me to sing.
But i just avert my gaze.
So that they won't see.